Coping with a breakup is never easy. All you want is to be reunited with your ex. No matter how much support you have, dealing with the fallout of a breakup is a very lonely and traumatic experience. There’s a rules that should apply to everyone after a breakup, regardless of the circumstances. Here are some:
1. Follow the three months rule
After a breakup, the best rule of thumb is to avoid all contact with your ex for at least six months. Think about what you can do in six months — train for a marathon, plan and take a well-deserved vacation, buy property, change jobs, heal and move on after a breakup. In giving yourself a six month cushion, you greatly increase your chances of getting over your ex. In the throes of post-breakup angst, you may not like the sound of that. Like it or not, it’s what’s best for you. Rather than fight what you know is right for you, give yourself permission to put the six month rule into practice.
2. Don’t be the victim
As much as you feel enlisting his friends and family to be on your “side” after the breakup will validate the fact that he’s a douche, doing so will only make it harder for you to move on. Who needs the constant reminder of him? Not you. “Even if the breakup is being spun against you, move on and let go of what you don’t need
3. No online ex bashing
After a breakup, it’s only natural to feel some residual anger, resentment, bitterness, etc. And in the era of social networking sites and YouTube, it’s all too easy to go online and spew in front of millions of readers/viewers. Don’t do it! By going online and bashing your ex on your blog, via video diary, or to everyone in your social network, you are inviting bad breakup karma into your life. And you know what they say — what comes around goes around. When it comes around? Ouch!
4. Avoid being one another’s shoulder to cry on
To heal and move on, you’re going to need help. That help should NOT come in the form of your ex. The same is true for you. If your ex calls, emails, texts, or stops by seeking comfort for his broken heart? Don’t open your arms. Instead, kindly but firmly let him know that you are no longer his go-to support system. Then shut the door on any and all opportunities to help each other heal following the breakup.
5. Remember you’ll get over it
The best thing about breaking up is those following mornings you wake up after you’ve truly gotten over someone. You’re renewed, alive, and ready to see what the world has to offer. Keep pushing through for this feeling, remember all those people you thought you’d never get over (you know you ended up getting over them).
6. No contact rule after a breakup
No contact is not about your ex-girlfriend, it is about you. It is not a weapon you can use to wage war with your ex nor does it magically inject happiness into your life. Your happiness is your own business. No contact is about reclaiming control and responsibility over that area of your life.